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Following graph below illustrates the recyling rate of four differend kind of materials from year 1982 to 2010 in a particular nation

Following graph below illustrates the recyling rate of four differend kind of materials from year 1982 to 2010 in a particular nation. Overall, we oberve that the highest proportion of paper and cardboard was recycled in the year 1992 which was 80% whereas merely 1% of plastics was recycled in the year 1988. To begin with, recycled rate for paper and cordboard showed a steady rise from the year 1982 to 1992 whcih was 65%, 70% and than 80%. However, this rate declined after the year 1992 and showed the downside by reached to 70% in 2008. Next to this, glass containers starts with only 50% of recycling rate and sudden declined in 1988 then increased upto 50% which kept on changing until the year 2008 and reached upto 60%. Secondly, Aluminium cans were the only ones that illustrated significant rise where the rate of recycled was 2% that increased upto 45% in the year 2008. Whereas plastics kept on the same pace with slight high in proportion.
Following graph below illustrates the
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recyling
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rate
of four
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differend
kind of materials from
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year
1982 to 2010 in a particular nation.
Overall
, we
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oberve
that the highest proportion of paper and cardboard was
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recycled
in the
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year
1992 which was 80% whereas
merely
1% of plastics was
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recycled
in the
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year
1988.

To
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begin
with,
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recycled
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rate
for paper and
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cordboard
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showed
a steady rise from the
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year
1982 to 1992
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whcih
was 65%, 70% and
Did you mean “then”?
than
80%.
However
, this
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rate
declined after the
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year
1992 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the downside by reached to 70% in 2008.
Next
to this, glass containers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
50% of recycling
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rate
and sudden declined in 1988 then increased
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upto
50% which
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kept
on changing until the
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year
2008 and reached
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upto
60%.

Secondly
,
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Aluminium
cans were the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
ones that illustrated significant rise where the
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rate
of
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recycled
was 2% that increased
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upto
45% in the
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year
2008.

“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
plastics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
on the same pace with slight high in proportion.
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IELTS academic Following graph below illustrates the recyling rate of four differend kind of materials from year 1982 to 2010 in a particular nation

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
168 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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