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Following pie chart below depicts the percentage of persons who were arrested in the five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the details of the most recent reasons for their arrest.

Following pie chart below depicts the percentage of persons who were arrested in the five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the details of the most recent reasons for their arrest. Overall, we observe that the percentage of males were highest as compared to females and the most common reason for both males and females was public drinking. In the pie chart, 93% of females were not arrested which was maximum in number as compared to males; 60%. Futhermore, 40% of males were arrested but the percentage of females differ by 7%. In the bar chart, as both males and females were quite similar in pattern for public drinking that was 30% and 35% as it shows that public drinking was the most common reason for their arrest However, the least percentage for no answer in males and females was 4% and 6%. The second highest reason for males to get arrested was drink driving as compared to females which was 27% for males and 13% for females.
Following pie
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chart
below depicts the
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percentage
of persons who were
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arrested
in the five years ending 1994 and the bar
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chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of the most recent
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reasons
for their arrest.
Overall
, we observe that the
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percentage
of
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males
were highest as compared to
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females
and the most common
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reason
for both
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males
and
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females
was public drinking.

In the pie
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chart
, 93% of
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females
were not
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arrested
which was
A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
maximum in number
as compared to
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males
; 60%.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
, 40% of
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males
were
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arrested
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
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percentage
of
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females
differ by 7%.

In the bar
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chart
, as both
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males
and
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females
were quite similar in pattern for public drinking that was 30% and 35% as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that public drinking was the most common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for their arrest
However
, the least
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percentage
for no answer in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and
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females
was 4% and 6%. The second highest
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reason
for
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males
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
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arrested
was
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
drink driving
as compared to
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females
which was 27% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and 13% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
.
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IELTS academic Following pie chart below depicts the percentage of persons who were arrested in the five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the details of the most recent reasons for their arrest.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
170 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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