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the bar chart below shows the number of overseas students enrolled in a second year graphic designer course at a college in south of england.

the bar chart below shows the number of overseas students enrolled in a second year graphic designer course at a college in south of england. 0pxL9
The bar chart vividly depicts the number of male and female student enrolled in two different country graphic designer course at college in South of England from France, Sweden, Germany, Spain and Syria. From the overall analysis, it is readily Apparent that majority of male preffered to take admission in Computer aided design whereas, female chosen photography in most of the Nations. Surprisingly, in Syria female only enrolled in photography and males had equal number of admission in both courses. By scanning the details, enrollment in CAD, in France number of admissions were 4 in male and 2 in female similar trend was observed in Germany 3 and 1 respectively. Moreover, number of male student was threefold of female student in Sweden Spain has significant difference in number 6 in male and only one in female. On the other hand, Syria counterpart this train the number of enrollment was doubled in female as compared to male. Furthermore, photography core option, France, Germany and Sweden illustrate the similar trend in which number of female was twice and thrice in comparison of men. In Spain, numbers were slight same for both gender. Interestingly, in Syria women were not interested in look admission and only one male was enrolled.
The bar chart
vividly
depicts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
student enrolled in two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
country graphic designer course at college in South of England from France, Sweden, Germany, Spain and Syria.

From the
overall
analysis, it is
readily
Apparent that majority of male
Possible spelling mistake found.
preffered
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
in Computer aided design whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
chosen photography in most of the Nations.
Surprisingly
, in Syria
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
enrolled in photography and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
had equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
in both courses.

By scanning the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, enrollment in CAD, in France
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admissions
were 4 in male and 2 in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
similar trend
was observed
in Germany 3 and 1
respectively
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of male student was threefold of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
student in Sweden Spain has significant difference in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
6 in male and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
.
On the other hand
, Syria counterpart this train the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of enrollment
was doubled
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
as compared to male.

Furthermore
, photography core option, France, Germany and Sweden illustrate the similar trend in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
was twice and thrice
in comparison
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. In Spain,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
were slight same for both gender.
Interestingly
, in Syria women were not interested in look
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one male
was enrolled
.
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IELTS academic the bar chart below shows the number of overseas students enrolled in a second year graphic designer course at a college in south of england.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
206 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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