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The graphs below show the number of medals won by the top five countries in summer and winter Olympics

The graphs below show the number of medals won by the top five countries in summer and winter Olympics jJAa
The graph gives the information about the medals which was won by five different countries during summer and winter olympics. Overall, Three countries, United states, Russia and Germany had won many of medals in both Olympics where as Norway and Canada was failed to got maximum medals in summer moreover Britan and France had not succeeded to win highest ranking medals during winter Olympics. Firstly, In winter Olympics Norway performing very well all time and succed to get more than 350 medals where as Russia manage to get almost 180 medals. And rest U. S, Russia and Canada had won almost 300, 250 and 200 medals respectively. Secondly, The consistency of United States to gain medals in summer is more compare to winter. They stood first in summer and got almost 2500 medal which was more than the sum of France and Britain. Germany misses second rank by almost 200 medals hence Russia was the second and had almost 1800 medals.
The graph gives the information about the
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medals
which
was won
by five
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different
countries during
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summer
and
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winter
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olympics
.

Overall
, Three countries,
The proper noun "United States" needs to be capitalized.
United states
, Russia and Germany had won
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many
of
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medals
in both Olympics
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
Norway and Canada
was failed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
maximum
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medals
in
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summer
moreover
Possible spelling mistake found.
Britan
and France had not succeeded to win
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
ranking
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medals
during
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winter
Olympics.

Firstly
, In
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winter
Olympics Norway performing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well all time and
Possible spelling mistake found.
succed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more than 350
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medals
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
Russia manage to
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get
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almost
180
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medals
. And rest U. S, Russia and Canada had won
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almost
300, 250 and 200
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medals
respectively
.

Secondly
, The consistency
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the United States".
of United States
to gain
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medals
in
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summer
is more compare to
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winter
. They stood
first
in
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summer
and
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got
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almost
2500
Possible agreement error. The noun 'medal' seems to be countable, so consider using: "medals".
medal
which was more than the sum of France and Britain. Germany misses second rank by
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almost
200
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medals
hence
Russia was the second and had
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almost
1800
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medals
.
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IELTS academic The graphs below show the number of medals won by the top five countries in summer and winter Olympics

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
161 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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