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the bar chart below shoe the percentage of US adults who are following news about the corona virus outbreak very closely during two periods of time. summarise the infomation by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

the bar chart below shoe the percentage of US adults who are following news about the corona virus outbreak very closely during two periods of time. summarise the infomation by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant PLqRX
The given data depicts the information about the percentage of people in the US who followed the intelligence about corona disease within 2 months in 2020. Overall, the quantity of people who have paid attention to the epidemic has increased in 2 months, the older the age, the more interest in the news. Getting back to the details, typically, there was a big difference between the ages of 18-29 and over 65, the elderly follow 20-30% more than young people in both March and April. Nearly 70% of old people followed the information about corona virus in April, this number was stopped at 42% at the same time in April. Middle-aged ages from 30-49 were not have too much difference in rate, only 10% between two months, there was the same figure is difference between 2 ages 30-49 and 50-64 in March. with general figures, the number of people who follow the news in March is 6% less than in April 2020
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
data depicts the information about the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the US who followed the intelligence about corona disease within 2 months in 2020.
Overall
, the quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have paid attention to the epidemic has increased in 2 months, the older the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, the more interest in the news.

Getting back to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
,
typically
, there was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
difference between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
of 18-29 and over 65, the elderly follow 20-30% more than young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in both March and April.
Nearly
70% of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
followed the information about
The term "coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
corona virus
in April, this number was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
at 42% at the same time in April. Middle-aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
from 30-49 were not
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
too much difference in rate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% between two months, there was the same figure is difference between 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
30-49 and 50-64 in March.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
with
general figures, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who follow the news in March is 6% less than in April 2020
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IELTS academic the bar chart below shoe the percentage of US adults who are following news about the corona virus outbreak very closely during two periods of time. summarise the infomation by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
161 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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