Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The bar chart below describe sales of various mobile phones by their branch from year 2009-2014 summarise the information summarise information by selecting and reporting main features make comparison file relevant

The bar chart below describe sales of various mobile phones by their branch from year 2009-2014 dQ3X
The bar chart defects different mobile phone sold in 2009 to 2013 by their companies Samsung, Apple, Nokia, LG and ZTETo begin with, Samsung and Nokia has sold highest units in 5 years while Nokia phones were in high demand in 2009 almost 450 units. However it started declining in 2011 and 2013 about 420 to 250. Nevertheless, ZTE was sold less as compare to another in all five years 2009, 2011 to 2013 about 50, 55 and 60 units onlyin contrast, Apple has slightly increased in 5 years. In 2009 it sold about 30 million unit. While it grew in 2011 almost 19 million units and the major increase were in 2013 about 15 million units. However, LG sold highest units in 2009 almost 120 units while it decreased about 90 units and 60 units in the next year 2011 and 2013Overall, Samsung mobile phones Rose sale in 5 years. However Nokia sales steadily decline in 5 years
The bar chart defects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
mobile phone sold in 2009 to 2013 by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
Samsung, Apple, Nokia, LG and
Possible spelling mistake found.
ZTETo
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, Samsung and Nokia has sold
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
in 5 years while Nokia phones were in high demand in 2009 almost 450
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
declining in 2011 and 2013 about 420 to 250.
Nevertheless
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ZTE
was sold
less
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compare to another in all five years 2009, 2011 to 2013 about 50, 55 and 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
Possible spelling mistake found.
onlyin
contrast, Apple has
slightly
increased in 5 years. In
The comma is probably missing here: "2009, it".
2009 it
sold about 30 million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unit
. While it grew in 2011 almost 19 million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
and the major increase were in 2013 about 15 million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
.
However
, LG sold
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
in 2009 almost 120
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
while it decreased about 90
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
and 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
in the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2011 and 2013Overall, Samsung mobile phones Rose sale in 5 years.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
Nokia sales
steadily
decline in 5
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
years
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The bar chart below describe sales of various mobile phones by their branch from year 2009-2014

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
158 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The bar chart below describe sales of various mobile phones by their branch from year 2009-2014 summarise the information summarise information by selecting and reporting main features make comparison file relevant