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graph shows the percentage of male and female academic staff members across faculties of a major university in 2016

graph shows the percentage of male and female academic staff members across faculties of a major university in 2016 g3WL
This bar chart compares the ratio of male and female academic staff across seven different departments in major university in 2016. According to the given information, the male staff members in engineering department are more than the female staff members while in arts department, the percentage of female members is much more than the male staff by 58%. The ratio of male staff members in Business, Engineering, Law and Science departments are much more than the female workers as well as the percentage of female employees in Arts, Education, and in medical faculties more than male staff members in major university in 2016. On the other hand, in medical department the ratio of male and female staff members are comparatively similar.
This bar chart compares the ratio of male and
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female
academic
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staff
across seven
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different
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departments
in major university in 2016. According to the
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given
information, the male
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staff
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members
in engineering
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department
are more than the
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female
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staff
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members
while in arts
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department
, the percentage of
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female
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members
is much more than the male
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staff
by 58%. The ratio of male
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staff
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
in Business, Engineering, Law and Science
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departments
are much more than the
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female
workers
as well
as the percentage of
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female
employees in Arts, Education, and in medical faculties more than male
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staff
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members
in major university in 2016.
On the other hand
, in medical
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department
the ratio of male and
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female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
are
comparatively
similar.
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IELTS academic graph shows the percentage of male and female academic staff members across faculties of a major university in 2016

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
121 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 7.0
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