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the average age of women giving birth in the UK between 1973 and 2008.

the average age of women giving birth in the UK between 1973 and 2008. ElLJb
The line graph represents data about the average age of women giving birth in the UK between 1973 and 2008. From an overall perspective, it is clear that for the whole period, women between the age of 25-29 gave birth to more infants, whereas women over 40 gave birth the least number of children and also the number of births grew slightly in the age groups between 30 to 39, while others went down. First most noticeable trend is that among all ages, only two categories of age 30-35 and 35-39 raised in the numbers of births per 1000 people. For the first group of women, the figures of births increased steadily from about 70 infants in 1973 to more than 80 in 2008, while for older one the rise was unsteady with a gentle fall from 1983 to 1988, when the number of newborns was more than 41 per 1000 people, and to the 2008 it grew for more than 20 people (about 65 per 1000 people). Secondly, other number values dropped dramatically for 20 points on average, besides the group of women 40 and over years, whose quantity of births per 1000 people reduced from less than 20 babies to approximately 9. While those groups fell gradually, the number of births in the most numerous group of women (25-29) decline unstable with law and high points in the period between 1978-1983 (about 120 children), 1988-1993 (reached peak with around 130 people), 1998-2003 (lowest point with approximately 115 people per 1000).
The line graph represents data about the average
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age
of
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women
giving
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birth
in the UK between 1973 and 2008.

From an
overall
perspective, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that for the whole period,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
between the
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age
of 25-29 gave
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birth
to more infants, whereas
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women
over 40 gave
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birth
the least
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number
of children and
also
the
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number
of
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births
grew
slightly
in the
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 30 and 39".
between 30 to 39
, while others went down.

First
most noticeable trend is that among all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
two categories of
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age
30-35 and 35-39 raised in the
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numbers
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
births
per 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. For the
first
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group
of
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women
, the figures of
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births
increased
steadily
from about 70 infants in 1973 to more than 80 in 2008, while for older one the rise was unsteady with a gentle fall from 1983 to 1988, when the
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number
of newborns was more than 41 per 1000
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people
, and to the 2008 it grew for more than 20
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people
(about 65 per 1000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
).

Secondly
, other
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number
values dropped
dramatically
for 20 points on average,
besides
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
40 and over years, whose quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
births
per 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
from less than 20 babies to approximately 9. While those
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groups
fell
gradually
, the
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
births
in the most numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
(25-29) decline unstable with law and high points in the period between 1978-1983 (about 120 children), 1988-1993 (reached peak with around 130
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people)
, 1998-2003 (
A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".
lowest
point with approximately 115
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
per 1000).
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IELTS academic the average age of women giving birth in the UK between 1973 and 2008.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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