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Two pie charts provide data about the future life of UK students with bachelor and PhD degrees in 2008.

Two pie charts provide data about the future life of UK students with bachelor and PhD degrees in 2008. ee3gK
Two pie charts provide data about the future life of UK students with bachelor and PhD degrees in 2008. Overall, it is clear that for graduates with bachelor degree full-time employment and further study were the priority, while for the graduates with PhD diploma further education and work overseas were the most popular. The majority of undergraduate students (45%) prefered to have a full-time job, rather than continuing their study for the Master of PhD degree, nevertheless this segment took the second part among all activities, which accounted for 25%. Having their occupation abroad or being unemployed or trying to combine future education with work is preferred by 30% in total of investigating social groups with equal division for 10% each. In terms of the most significant feature of the second chart, the largest number of graduates with PhD diplomas, representing more than a half of all doings after finishing university (56%), preferred study further, which were twice more than the same number for bachelor alumnus. Full-time employment was three times less popular for PhD graduates (14%), while working abroad took a quarter (25%) of the whole percentage that for 15% more than for workers with bachelor degrees. The least popular group of doings was combinating work and study that accounted for only 5%, whereas there were no unemployment people, in comparison with the 10% rate among bachelors.
Two pie charts provide data about the future life of UK students with bachelor and PhD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
in 2008.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
with bachelor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
full-time employment and
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
were the priority, while for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
with PhD diploma
further
education and work overseas were the most popular.

The majority of undergraduate students (45%)
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "preferred", the past tense form of the verb 'prefer'?
prefered
to have a full-time job,
rather
than continuing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for the Master of PhD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
,
nevertheless
this segment took the second part among all activities, which accounted for 25%. Having their occupation abroad or
being unemployed
or trying to combine future education with work
is preferred
by 30% in total of investigating social groups with equal division for 10% each.

In terms of the most significant feature of the second chart, the largest number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
with PhD diplomas, representing more than a half of all doings after finishing university (56%), preferred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
further
, which were twice more than the same number for bachelor alumnus. Full-time employment was three times less popular for PhD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
(14%), while working abroad took a quarter (25%) of the whole percentage that for 15% more than for workers with bachelor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
. The least popular group of doings was
Possible spelling mistake found.
combinating
work and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
that accounted for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5%, whereas there were no unemployment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
in comparison
with the 10% rate among bachelors.
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IELTS academic Two pie charts provide data about the future life of UK students with bachelor and PhD degrees in 2008.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
228 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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