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the Australia’s online shopping sales for retail sectors in 2010 and 2015.

the Australia’s online shopping sales for retail sectors in 2010 and 2015. W8VRb
The given pie charts illustrate the proportion of the Australia’s online shopping sales for retail sectors in 2010 and 2015. The general overview here is that the majority of Australia’s online sales for sectors retail in both given years were on the Electric and appliance sector. As can be seen from the charts, the highest amount was occupied by the electric and appliance sector with 27% in 2010, followed by the home furnishings sector with the figure 22%. Along with the food and beverage, video games, gift item, books sectors make up the figure with 21%and 19%and7%and 4%, respectively. Moreover, there were a significant movement in 2015. The rate of the electric and appliance sector moderate increase of 6% to 33% in 2013. which was the most popular sector in that year. Likewise, the figure of food and beverage, gift item, books sectors rose a mere to 22%and11%and7%, respectively. In contrast, the home furnishings sector experienced a slight decrease of 3% to 19%, while the figure of video game sector online sales declined steadily 8% to 8% of total sales.
The
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given
pie charts illustrate the proportion of the Australia’s online shopping
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sales
for retail
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sectors
in 2010 and 2015. The general overview here is that the majority of Australia’s online
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sales
for
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sectors
retail in both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
years were on the Electric and appliance sector.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the charts, the highest amount
was occupied
by the electric and appliance
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sector
with 27% in 2010, followed by the home furnishings
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sector
with the
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figure
22%. Along with the food and beverage, video games, gift item, books
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sectors
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make
up the
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figure
with 21%and 19%and7%and 4%,
respectively
.

Moreover
, there were a significant movement in 2015. The rate of the electric and appliance
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sector
moderate increase of 6% to 33% in 2013.
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which
was the most popular
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sector
in that year.
Likewise
, the
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figure
of food and beverage, gift item, books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
rose a mere to 22%and11%and7%,
respectively
.
In contrast
, the home furnishings
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sector
experienced a slight decrease of 3% to 19%, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
of video game
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sector
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
declined
steadily
8% to 8% of total
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sales
.
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IELTS academic the Australia’s online shopping sales for retail sectors in 2010 and 2015.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
180 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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