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The access of the roads to a city hospital in the year of 2007 and 2010

The access of the roads to a city hospital in the year of 2007 and 2010 5agym
The two maps illustrate the access of the roads to a city hospital in the year of 2007 and 2010. As the hospital plays an important role in the city, so there are several changes have been made in terms of road access for easier routing and transportation in 2010. Although there was a combined car park for official staff and public in 2007, however, in 2010, there were two separate car parks. The public car park was newly built but the staff car park was at the same place as before. In addition, there were two roundabouts were built in 2010, which were directly interconnected with one another via hospital road. The hospital road and two roundabouts were connected with the bus station, while in 2007 there were only six bus stops on the hospital road. Overall, in 2010, after the renovation, the road access to the hospital became much easier.
The two maps illustrate the access of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
to a city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
in the year of 2007 and 2010.

As the
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hospital
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the city,
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so
there are several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
have
been made
in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
access for easier routing and transportation in 2010. Although there was a combined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
for official staff and public in 2007,
however
, in 2010, there were two separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
. The public
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car
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park
was
newly
built
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the staff
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car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
was at the same place as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
In addition
, there were two roundabouts
were built
in 2010, which were
directly
interconnected with one another via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
and two roundabouts
were connected
with the bus station, while in 2007 there were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
six bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
on the
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hospital
road.

Overall
, in 2010, after the renovation, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
access to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
became much easier.
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IELTS academic The access of the roads to a city hospital in the year of 2007 and 2010

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
152 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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