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The above diagram illustrates the alterations of school in the year 2004 and 20 years later in 2024.

The above diagram illustrates the alterations of school in the year 2004 and 20 years later in 2024. Presenting the similarities and differences which was going to be made as a part of expansion From the architecture it is evident that head in the school is going to increase from 600 to 1000. As a part of development extra car parking has been announced which results in shrink of park area around the school. Beginning with school buildings in 2004 2 buildings are constructed and maintained on each side of the path, in 2024 these two buildings are interlinked with a corridor reducing the space of the path and new building is announced where sports exist in 2004. Car parking 1 which Is located at the main entrance was on the roadside was untouched, whereas second parking is announced on the other end of the school east to the School building3. Park area which is located at the south of the school was cut down by 20% in order to lay road which connects from main entrance to car parking2. Sports Field which is located at now car parking 2 place was moved to park area facing south.
The above diagram illustrates the alterations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in the year 2004 and 20 years later in 2024. Presenting the similarities and differences which was going to
be made
as a part of expansion

From the architecture it is evident that head in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is going to increase from 600 to 1000.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a part of development extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
has
been announced
which results in shrink of park area around the school.

Beginning with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
in 2004 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are constructed
and maintained on each side of the path, in 2024 these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are interlinked
with a corridor reducing the space of the path and new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
is announced
where sports exist in 2004.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
1 which
Is located
at the main entrance was on the roadside
was untouched
, whereas second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
is announced
on the other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
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school
east to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
building3.

Park area which
is located
at the south of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down by 20% in order to lay road which connects from main entrance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking2
. Sports Field which
is located
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
2 place was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to park area facing south.
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A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS academic The above diagram illustrates the alterations of school in the year 2004 and 20 years later in 2024.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
198 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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