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TEH DIAGRAM BELOW SHOW THE developement of the horse over a period of 40 million years.

TEH DIAGRAM BELOW SHOW THE developement of the horse over a period of 40 million years. 95DYw
The picture portrays the evolution of the horse with foot changing structure over a period of 40 million years. To begin with, in 40 million years ago the horse had five toenails and small tail. However, at that time the horses were look like dogs. After that, it with nominal changes the horses were called as mesohippus in 30 years ago. It replaced with tree toenails. Henceforth, after five years merychippus came with noticeable changed. For example, it had tree toenail but middle one was large in height as well as width as compared to other side of nail. Whilst, in today's contemporary ear, horses are big in size with good shape of tail and body. The most fascinating change happen in foots. The foots are connected each other with three bones where two bones are extremely short and other one is large in size.
The picture portrays the evolution of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horse
with foot changing structure over a period of 40 million years.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in 40 million years ago the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horse
had five toenails and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
tail.
However
, at that time the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horses
were look like dogs. After that, it with nominal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horses
were called
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
mesohippus
in 30 years ago. It replaced with tree toenails.

Henceforth, after five years
Possible spelling mistake found.
merychippus
came with noticeable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.
For example
, it had tree toenail
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
middle one was
A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
large in height
as well
as width as compared to other side of nail. Whilst, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's contemporary ear,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horses
are
A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
big in size
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
shape of tail and body. The most fascinating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
happen in foots. The foots
are connected
each other with three bones where two bones are
extremely
short and other one is
A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
large in size
.
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IELTS academic TEH DIAGRAM BELOW SHOW THE developement of the horse over a period of 40 million years.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
145 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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