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task 1 line graph people who have work

task 1 line graph people who have work WqAdK
Since 2000, the graph displays the percentage of people in the UK who have worked in three sectors: public sector, private sector, and self-employed. Overall, the graph shows that employment rates in the public sector and among the self-employed have been steadily increasing, while the percentage of private cars has decreased significantly over the period in question. It is obvious that employment rates in the public sector increased rapidly from roughly 40% in 2000 to 48 percent in 2005, before declining somewhat the following year. Following that, the percentage increased somewhat, eventually reaching above 50% in 2010. Take a look at those who are self-employed. The pattern was the same.
Since 2000, the graph displays the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the UK who have worked in three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
: public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
, private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
, and self-employed.

Overall
, the graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that employment rates in the public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
and among the self-employed have been
steadily
increasing, while the percentage of private cars has decreased
significantly
over the period in question.

It is obvious that employment rates in the public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
increased
rapidly
from roughly 40% in 2000 to 48 percent in 2005,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
declining somewhat the following year. Following that, the percentage increased somewhat,
eventually
reaching above 50% in 2010. Take a look at those who are self-employed. The pattern was the same.
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IELTS academic task 1 line graph people who have work

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
110 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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