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The bar chart depicts the no. Of students

The bar chart depicts the no. Of students 1kl7L
The bar chart gives information about the proportion of pupils in three courses during 4 years, over ranging from the early 2001 to the last 2004. In general, the overall growth in number of students in three courses is not always stable, while only course C which has a dramatic increase of the four year period. First of all, in 2001, over 4 million students who were presumably enrolled onto courses A, while in 2002 the number of students declined in 2. 5 million. By 2003 onwards the numbers continued to grow up so that more than 3 million and in the last period held on above 4 million pupils. Turning to the data for course B can be seen that in 2001, 2 million students took the course. In 2002, the proportions almost doubled to over 4 million people studying in this course. Nevertheless, only approximately 1. 9 million people who attended in course B, was a sharp decline in 2003. Slowly but sure, the number of students rose in 2004 with nearly 3 million. A more detailed look at the graph reveals that only course C which had the significant grow year-by-year. The situation remained reasonably from 2001 to 2002 with 2 million people. Then, in 2003 the number of people rose steadily throughout and stood at peak in the last period with 5 million students.
The bar chart gives information about the proportion of pupils in three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
during 4 years, over ranging from the early 2001 to the last 2004.

In general
, the
overall
growth in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
is not always stable, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
C which has a dramatic increase of the
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "four-year"
four year
period.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, in 2001, over 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who were presumably enrolled onto
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
A, while in 2002 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
declined in 2. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. By 2003 onwards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
continued to grow up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that more than 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
and in the last period held on above 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
pupils.

Turning to the data for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
B can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that in 2001, 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
took the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
. In 2002, the proportions almost doubled to over 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
studying in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
.
Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
approximately 1. 9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who attended in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
B, was a sharp decline in 2003.
Slowly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
sure, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
rose in 2004 with
nearly
3 million.

A more detailed look at the graph reveals that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
C which had the significant
The word 'grow' is a verb. Did you mean the noun "growth"?
grow
year-by-year. The situation remained
reasonably
from 2001 to 2002 with 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Then, in 2003 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rose
steadily
throughout and stood at peak in the last period with 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart depicts the no. Of students

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
228 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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