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Task 1 compare pie chart and line graph

Task 1 compare pie chart and line graph waqgE
The charts show the total usage proportions for water in Australia and a breakdown of its residential purposes. Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that the vast majority of water is dedicated to houses, followed by apartments, industry, businesses and finally other. In terms of the residential use, it is mainly for bathrooms and gardens, with lower numbers for washing clothes, toilets and kitchens. Looking first of all at the pie chart, houses represent 57% of total water usage, far surpassing apartments at 13%, industry at 11%, business 10%, government 6%, and lastly other (3%). The bar chart delineates the uses of residential water, including both homes and apartments. Nearly 30% of all water was used for bathrooms, the highest figure, while gardens was slightly lower at 26%. Washing clothes translates to 20% of usage, followed by toilets at 15%, and kitchen use totaling just 10%.
The charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the total usage proportions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in Australia and a breakdown of its residential purposes. Looking from an
overall
perspective, it is
readily
apparent that the vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is dedicated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, followed by apartments, industry, businesses and
finally
other. In terms of the residential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, it is
mainly
for bathrooms and gardens, with lower numbers for washing clothes, toilets and kitchens.

Looking
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
at the pie chart,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
represent 57% of total
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water
usage, far surpassing apartments at 13%, industry at 11%, business 10%,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
6%, and
lastly
other (3%).

The bar chart delineates the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
of residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, including both homes and apartments.
Nearly
30% of all
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water
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for bathrooms, the highest figure, while gardens was
slightly
lower at 26%. Washing clothes translates to 20% of usage, followed by toilets at 15%, and kitchen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
totaling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
10%.
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IELTS academic Task 1 compare pie chart and line graph

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
149 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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