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Task 1 bar chart Damage land used for 3 main reason

Task 1 bar chart Damage land used for 3 main reason 7aOnA
The bar graph indicates how the three main cause of land damage in four different areas in the world, including Afirca, Asia, Australia and Europe, with units measured in millions hectares. Overall, the damaging of three main cause of land in the Africa and the Asia is significantly higher than that of the other two categories, namely the Australia and Europe. Among them, especially the figure for breeding in the Africa is highest and the data of farming in the Australia account for the lowest. It is evident that, among three main reasons for land lost in the Africa and Asia, the breeding is the largest, destroying 500 and nearly 400 millions hectares respectively, compare to the figure for Australia and Europe are lower, stand at 220 and 120 respectively. In stark contract, the amount of land used for farming is highest in Asia, standing about 450 mh, whereas the figure for Australia is lowest, hitting at 50mh. The number of land for tree-cutting account for the highest in the Asia, reaching a peak at 480 mh, which is slightly higher than that on Africa, is roughly 380 mh. The number of land used for tree-cutting in the Australia is as high as that on Europe.
The bar graph indicates how the three main cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
damage in four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas in the world, including
Possible spelling mistake found.
Afirca
, Asia, Australia and Europe, with units measured in millions hectares.

Overall
, the damaging of three main cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
in the Africa and the Asia is
significantly
higher than that of the other two categories,
namely
the Australia and Europe. Among them,
especially
the figure for breeding in the Africa is highest and the data of farming in the Australia account for the lowest.

It is evident that, among three main reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
lost in the Africa and Asia, the breeding is the largest, destroying 500 and
nearly
400 millions hectares
respectively
, compare to the figure for Australia and Europe are lower, stand at 220 and 120
respectively
.

In stark contract, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for farming is highest in Asia, standing about 450
Possible spelling mistake found.
mh
, whereas the figure for Australia is lowest, hitting at 50mh. The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
for tree-cutting account for the highest in the Asia, reaching a peak at 480
Possible spelling mistake found.
mh
, which is
slightly
higher than that on Africa, is roughly 380
Possible spelling mistake found.
mh
. The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for tree-cutting in the Australia is as high as that on Europe.
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IELTS academic Task 1 bar chart Damage land used for 3 main reason

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
206 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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