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reasons for using facebook for men and woman

reasons for using facebook for men and woman xmqR9
The bar graph provides information on various reasons for males and females of all ages to use Facebook, which is a social networking website in the month of july of year 2012. The data is calibrated in percentage. Overall, Women used Facebook more than men except at two reasons receiving updates or comments and keeping up with news or current events, which, are at same proportion. At the first glance, it is clear that Woman used Facebook more for seeing photos and videos with 54%. However, it is also the same reason that men used at their second highest position with 39%. Sharing with many people at once is first priority for men to use it with 42%. Eventough, it is demoninated by women with 50% as their second main reason. Intrestingly, both male and female used at equal proportion for receiving updates or comments with 39%. Moreover, for keeping up with news or current events they both used at equal level with 31%. Learning about ways to help others reason is also dominated by woman more then men with 10%. receiving support from people in your network and getting feedback on content you have are lowest usage for both men and women with slighest difference.
The bar graph provides information on various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for males and females of all ages to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Facebook, which is a social networking website in the month of
Possible spelling mistake found.
july
of year 2012. The data
is calibrated
in percentage.
Overall
, Women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
Facebook more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
except at two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
receiving updates or comments and keeping up with news or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, which, are at same proportion.

At the
first
glance, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that Woman
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
Facebook more for seeing photos and videos with 54%.
However
, it is
also
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
at their second highest position with 39%. Sharing with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at once is
first
priority for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it with 42%.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eventough
, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
demoninated
by women with 50% as their second main reason.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Intrestingly
, both male and female
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
at equal proportion for receiving updates or comments with 39%.
Moreover
, for keeping up with news or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
they both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
at equal level with 31%. Learning about ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is
also
dominated by woman more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
with 10%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
receiving
support from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in your network and getting feedback on content you have are
A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".
lowest
usage for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and women with
Possible spelling mistake found.
slighest
difference.
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IELTS academic reasons for using facebook for men and woman

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
206 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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