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tal about water different usages in several areas over the world

tal about water different usages in several areas over the world pLVdy
The pie charts depict the proportion of the usage of water for distinct aims in six regions over the world. It clear from the graph that, the vast majority of used water was for agricultural goals. According to what is shown, the highest contribution of water in agriculture was in Central Asia at 88 per cent, followed by 84 percent in Africa. While, the lowest percentage of using water for agricultural purposes was in North America and Europe at 39 percent and 32 percent respectively. As for using water for industrial aims, the highest proportion was in Europe constituting 53 percent followed by North America at 48 percent. Furthermore, the percentage declined sharply in the other areas like Africa, south east Asia, and Central Asia where the ratio accounted for 8 percent in average. Moving to the last usage of water, South America utilized 19 percent of water for domestic use. Moreover, The rate in Africa, south west Asia, and central Asia sustained between 7 percent and 9 percent. Meanwhile, the people in Europe and North America consumed around 14 percent of water for domestic aims. To sum up, we could say that, the industrialized nations utilized water mainly for industry, while developing countries relied on water at the agricultural sector.
The pie charts depict the proportion of the usage of
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water
for distinct aims in six regions over the world. It
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clear
from the graph that, the vast majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
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water
was for agricultural goals. According to what
is shown
, the highest contribution of
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water
in agriculture was in Central Asia at 88 per cent, followed by 84
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percent
in Africa. While, the lowest percentage of using
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water
for agricultural purposes was in North America and Europe at 39
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percent
and 32
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percent
respectively
. As for using
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water
for industrial aims, the highest proportion was in Europe constituting 53
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percent
followed by North America at 48
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percent
.
Furthermore
, the percentage declined
sharply
in the other areas like Africa,
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south east
Asia, and Central Asia where the ratio accounted for 8
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percent
in average. Moving to the last usage of
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water
, South America utilized 19
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percent
of
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water
for domestic
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use
.
Moreover
, The rate in Africa,
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south west
Asia, and
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central Asia
sustained between 7
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percent
and 9
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percent
. Meanwhile, the
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people
in Europe and North America consumed around 14
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percent
of
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water
for domestic aims. To sum up, we could say that, the industrialized nations utilized
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water
mainly
for industry, while
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developing countries
relied on
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water
at the agricultural sector.
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IELTS academic tal about water different usages in several areas over the world

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
211 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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