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Table showing figures in Australia during 2011

Table showing figures in Australia during 2011 6dGV0
The table distinguishes the number of businesses, profit, sales revenue, and growth between department and online stores in Australia during 2011. Overall, it is clear from the figures that the online stores business gained profits compared to departmental stores. Even though there are fewer physical stores, they gave tough competition to the other ones. Firstly, the number of businesses running physical stores in 2011 is only 67, which is almost six times lesser than the online stores that constitute 368. Although the number of provisional shops is less than the online ones, it earned a profit of 807 Australian dollars, which is just about 60 dollars less than the stores that are running over the internet. Moreover, the revenue generated through sales can be observed as 12, 700 and 13, 400 Australian dollars in retail and online stores, respectively. Finally, the percentage growth of departmental stores is 0. 4%, whereas it is 0. 6% in online stores, which is just 0. 2% greater than the other ones.
The table distinguishes the number of businesses, profit, sales revenue, and growth between department and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
in Australia during 2011.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the figures that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
business gained profits compared to departmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
.
Even though
there are fewer physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
, they gave tough competition to the other ones.

Firstly
, the number of businesses running physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
in 2011 is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
67, which is almost six times lesser than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
that constitute 368. Although the number of provisional shops is less than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
ones, it earned a profit of 807 Australian dollars, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about 60 dollars less than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
that are running over the internet.

Moreover
, the revenue generated through sales can
be observed
as 12, 700 and 13, 400 Australian dollars in retail and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
,
respectively
.
Finally
, the percentage growth of departmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
is 0. 4%, whereas it is 0. 6% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
0. 2% greater than the other ones.
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IELTS academic Table showing figures in Australia during 2011

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
167 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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