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Table shows the causes of injury by age and their percentatge contribuation to total deaths during 12 months.

Table shows the causes of injury by age and their percentatge contribuation to total deaths during 12 months. 2b8lM
The table chart reports the source of injury which causes deaths classified in different age-groups and their percentages in relation to the total death of each group in Australia during 1 year. There are 7 types of injuries, an automobile, contamination, falls, drowning, suffocation, self-destruction, muder and violence. The automobile is the most common cause of injury which finishes up with 34 % of the total deaths. In this case the age group more affected were individuals between 15 and 39 years old with 45 % of the total death. On the contrary, people over 65s were the least injured. The second most frequent cause of deaths was self-immolation with 27 % of the total death. Surprisingly, the population who were under 14 years old did not commit suicide. Conversely, those ones who were between 40 and 64 years old were willing to self-immolate much more, specifically 31% of the total death of this age group. In contrast, the least two causes of death were contamination and suffocation which each one represent 2 % of the total casualties. The 15-39 age group were the most common to experience contamination and die from it, precisely 4 % of the total age group. Interestingly, the under 14 years olds could unlikely experience poisoning, only 1 % of the total deaths of this aged group did die from it. On the other hand, the under 14 years olds were more susceptible to passing out from suffocation 14 % of them died from it and the 1 % of the total deaths from the 15-39 age group passed out because of it. Overall, it can be seen that the main trend remains in motor vehicle injuries being the most popular cause of death. On the contrary, suffocation and poisoning were the least frequent two sources of casualties during the year.
The table chart reports the source of
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injury
which
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causes
deaths classified in
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different
age-groups and their percentages in relation to the
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total
death of each
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group
in Australia during 1 year.

There are 7 types of
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injuries
, an automobile, contamination, falls, drowning, suffocation, self-destruction,
Possible spelling mistake found.
muder
and violence. The automobile is the most common
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cause
of
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injury
which finishes up with 34 % of the
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total
deaths.
In this case
the
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age
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group
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
were individuals between 15 and 39 years
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old
with 45 % of the
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total
death.
On the contrary
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
over 65s were the least injured. The second most frequent
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cause
of deaths was self-immolation with 27 % of the
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total
death.
Surprisingly
, the population who were under 14 years
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old
did not commit suicide.
Conversely
,
This phrase is probably grammatically incorrect. Write "those" instead.
those ones
who were between 40 and 64 years
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old
were willing to self-immolate much more,
specifically
31% of the
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total
death of this
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age
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group
.
In contrast
, the least two
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causes
of death were contamination and suffocation which each one represent 2 % of the
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total
casualties. The 15-39
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age
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group
were the most common to experience contamination and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
from it,
precisely
4 % of the
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total
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
Interestingly
, the under 14 years olds could unlikely experience poisoning,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1 % of the
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total
deaths of this aged
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group
did
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die
from it.
On the other hand
, the under 14 years olds were more susceptible to passing out from suffocation 14 % of them
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died
from it and the 1 % of the
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total
deaths from the 15-39
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age
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group
passed out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of it.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the main trend remains in motor vehicle
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injuries
being the most popular
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cause
of death.
On the contrary
, suffocation and poisoning were the least frequent two sources of casualties during the
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year
.
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IELTS academic Table shows the causes of injury by age and their percentatge contribuation to total deaths during 12 months.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
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    Present relevant ideas
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