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Coffee buying and drinking habits in Australia

Coffee buying and drinking habits in Australia 85j6k
According to the chart, many people are tend to go to a cafe for coffee or tea. Especially, there are more than 60 percent of people who went to caffee in last four weeks in Sydney, Hobert and Melbourne. I think this is because there are a lot of cafes in these cities because more and more travelers are coming to Australia. For example, Sydney has great buildings such as Opera House. Also, Hobert, which is located on Tasmania, has magnificent nature. A lot of foreign people come to see these tourist spots. So there are many cafes for foreign tourists to use. That's why Australian are likely to go to cafe. Also, about 50 percent of people bought instant coffee in last four weeks. However, less than 40 percent ofpeople who bought fresh coffee in last four weeks in Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart. This shows that Australian don't care much about however coffee's freshness is.
According to the chart,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are tend to go to a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
for coffee or tea.
Especially
, there are more than 60
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "percents"?
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who went to
Possible spelling mistake found.
caffee
in last four weeks in Sydney,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hobert
and Melbourne. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is
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because
there are
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a lot of
'cafes' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cafés"
cafes
in these cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
more and more travelers are coming to Australia.
For example
, Sydney has great buildings such as Opera
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House
.
Also
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hobert
, which
is located
on Tasmania, has magnificent nature.
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A lot of
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
these tourist spots.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
'cafes' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cafés"
cafes
for foreign tourists to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. That's why Australian are likely to go to
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
.
Also
, about 50 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
instant coffee in last four weeks.
However
, less than 40 percent
Possible spelling mistake found.
ofpeople
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
fresh coffee in last four weeks in Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that Australian don't care much about
however
coffee's freshness is.

IELTS academic Coffee buying and drinking habits in Australia

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
156 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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