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Survey of city residents buying and drinking coffee or tea

Survey of city residents buying and drinking coffee or tea QlM7K
The bar chart above illustrates the number of city residents buying and drinking coffee or tea in 5 Australian cities (Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart). Units are expressed in percentages. Overall, it can be seen that the proportion of city residents who went to a café for coffee or tea in the last four weeks was the highest while the proportion of people who bought fresh coffee in the last four weeks was the lowest. In terms of going to a café for coffee or tea, Melbourne, had the highest proportion of city residents who went to café for coffee or tea in the last 4 weeks and was followed very closely by Hobart and Sydney. There was a different trend however for the percentage of residents who bought instant coffee in the last 4 weeks with the highest recorded in Brisbane. Conclusively residents spent more on fresh coffee.
The bar chart above illustrates the number of city
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residents
buying and drinking
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coffee
or
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tea
in 5 Australian
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cities
(Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart). Units
are expressed
in percentages.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the proportion of city
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residents
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who
went to a café for
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coffee
or
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tea
in the last four
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weeks
was the highest while the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
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who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
fresh
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coffee
in the last four
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weeks
was the lowest.

In terms of going to a café for
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coffee
or
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tea
, Melbourne, had the highest proportion of city
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residents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
went to café for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tea
in the last 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weeks
and
was followed
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very
closely
by Hobart and Sydney. There was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
trend
however
for the percentage of
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residents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
instant
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coffee
in the last 4
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weeks
with the highest recorded in Brisbane.
Conclusively
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residents
spent more on fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
.
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IELTS academic Survey of city residents buying and drinking coffee or tea

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
150 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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