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Survey of Adult Education

Survey of Adult Education 2aa0X
In the given survey of reasons for adult education the data is presented via a bar graph where the data is categorized in seven sections. Data is shown here in percentage. Data categories are interest in subject, gain qualifications, helpful for current job, improve prospects of promotion, enjoy learning/studying, be able to change jobs, meet new people. From the survey we can see that the higher percentage of mature person studies because of their interest in a subject whereas lower percentage of them learn to meet people. According to the survey around 40% of adults study because of their interest in a specific subject. Around 38% grownup people educate themselves to gain qualifications. Moreover, for about 22% people the purpose of education is just their education will be helpful for their current job. On the contrary 20% of mature aged people continue their study to improve the prospects of their promotion. At the same time 20% mature person just enjoy their study. Besides 12% of grown person study for being able to change their jobs. At last, only 9% students just keep learning to meet people. From this it can be said that purpose of education differs from peer to peer. Now let’s look at the pie chart of how the cost of each course should be shared. The chart is divided in 3 sectors. The sectors are taxpayer, individual, employer. As we can see the data here is also presented in percentage. Here the highest rate of cost share is individual and the rate is 40% on the other hand the least rate of shared cost rate is 25% which is assigned to taxpayer. In the middle ratio we have employer with the number of 35%.
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
survey of reasons for adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
the
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data
is presented
via a bar graph where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
is categorized
in seven sections.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Data
is shown
here in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Data
categories are
Did you mean "interested"?
interest
in subject, gain qualifications, helpful for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
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job
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
prospects of promotion, enjoy learning/studying, be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

From the survey we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of mature person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their interest in a subject whereas lower
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percentage
of them learn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. According to the survey around 40% of adults
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study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their interest in a specific subject. Around 38% grownup
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people
educate themselves to gain qualifications.
Moreover
, for about 22%
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people
the purpose of
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education
is
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just
their
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education
will be helpful for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
On the contrary
20% of mature aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
continue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the prospects of their promotion. At the same time 20% mature person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
Besides
12% of grown person
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study
for being able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
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jobs
. At last,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
9% students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
learning to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

From this it can
be said
that purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
differs from peer to peer.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
’s look at the pie chart of how the cost of each course should
be shared
. The chart
is divided
in 3 sectors. The sectors are taxpayer, individual, employer.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
here is
also
presented in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
. Here the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of cost share is individual and the
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rate
is 40%
on the other hand
the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of shared cost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
is 25% which
is assigned
to taxpayer. In the middle ratio we have employer with the number of 35%.
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IELTS academic Survey of Adult Education

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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