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Spending on tourist infrastructure by four different europen countries

Spending on tourist infrastructure by four different europen countries BYqAa
The line graph demonstrates the amount of money spent on tourist infrastructure in four different countries in Europe over a 12 year period between 1980 and 1992. Overall, it can be seen that whereas the UK and France increased their spending on tourism over the period, Spain witnessed a fall in investment up until 1990 before recovering. In Germany, meanwhile, financial support for tourism rose before slipping after 1990. Focussing on uk and France, although the former began the period by spending about 58million euros on tourism, the latter started at just one third of this figure. However, despite tourism investment rising in both nations, the figure in 1992 was the same for each at 80 million euros, which was the highest spent in a single year by any other nation during the period. In contrast, the Spanish decreased their spending on touristic developments over the 1980's, with investment slumping from 60 million euros to around 48 million. This sum then jumped back to 60 million in 1992. German government, conversely, raised spending in the 80s from 30 million to 48 million, after which the figure dropped to 40 million.
The line graph demonstrates the amount of money spent on tourist infrastructure in four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries in Europe over a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "12-year"
12 year
period between 1980 and 1992.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that whereas the UK and France increased their
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spending
on
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tourism
over the period, Spain witnessed a fall in investment up until 1990
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before
recovering. In Germany, meanwhile, financial support for
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tourism
rose
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before
slipping after 1990.

Focussing on
Possible spelling mistake found.
uk
and France, although the former began the period by
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spending
about
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58million
euros on
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tourism
, the latter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at
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just
one third of this figure.
However
, despite
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tourism
investment rising in both nations, the figure in 1992 was the same for each at 80
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million
euros, which was the highest spent in a single year by any other nation during the period.

In contrast
, the Spanish decreased their
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spending
on touristic developments over the
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "1980s".
1980's
, with investment slumping from 60
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million
euros to around 48
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million
. This sum then jumped back to 60
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million
in 1992. German
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government
,
conversely
, raised
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spending
in the 80s from 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
to 48
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
, after which the figure dropped to 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
.
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IELTS academic Spending on tourist infrastructure by four different europen countries

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
190 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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