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Some people work only for few months a year and take rest of the time off to do whatever they like. To what extent do the advantages of this arrangements outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people work only for few months a year and take rest of the time off to do whatever they like. 2xQWJ
In this busy world, many people prefer to labor only for a limited time in a year. This type of working style is welcomed by myriad people, as it has many advantages. To begin with the advantages, when people work for a short duration and engage in their interested activities for the rest of the time, it helps them to alleviate their stress level. For instance, those who work in coal mine or ship usually takes long break from their job. It actually rejuvenate their mind and make them fit for the next session of their duty. In addition, this trend helps the employees to spend more time with the family. It improves the family bonding and thereby contributes to the wellbeing of the whole family. For example, working parents can spend much time on looking after their children, which in-turn helps them to mould their children in a socially acceptable manner. On the other hand, this can affect the economical stability of the family. In other words, the money earned by working for a short period of time, people are unable to meet the needs for the entire year. Moreover, this working style can also affect the economy of the country due to the reduction in the per capita income of its citizen. From the above discussions, it is clear that working for a short time in a year has more merits than demerits. I hope that in future this type of working schedule may gain much popularity.
In this busy world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to labor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for a limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in a year. This type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
style
is welcomed
by myriad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, as it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the advantages, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work for a short duration and engage in their interested activities for the rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to alleviate their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
level.
For instance
, those who work in coal mine or ship
usually
takes long break from their job. It actually
Did you mean "rejuvenates"?
rejuvenate
their mind and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them fit for the
next
session of their duty.

In addition
, this trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the employees to spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bonding and thereby contributes to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
of the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
parents can spend much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on looking after their children, which in-turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
their children in a
socially
acceptable manner.

On the other hand
, this can affect the
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
stability of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
In other words
, the money earned by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for a short period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the needs for the entire year.
Moreover
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
style can
also
affect the economy of the country due to the reduction in the per capita income of its citizen.

From the above discussions, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for a short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in a year has more merits than demerits. I hope that in future this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
schedule may gain much popularity.
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IELTS academic Some people work only for few months a year and take rest of the time off to do whatever they like.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
249 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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