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Some people think that girls and boys should be attending in same school .Do you agree or disagree and give your opinion.

Some people think that girls and boys should be attending in same school. and give your opinion. w7OLl
A section of society opines that there should be one school for both girls and boys While I believe that scholars should be taught in same school. Nevertheless I shall discuss both notions in my upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there are several reasons why girls and boys should study together. Firstly, If they get education in joint school, students will not confront any obstacle in their further life because after completing study they will have to work together under one roof as majority of organization's recruit male and female employees and thus they can cooperative easily with each other due to workers already have been studied together in early life. Australia is a case in point where both genders have been pursuing education in one school, which means that knowledge seekers have good understanding on work place. Further more, by studying in joint institutions, boys will start respect the girls because teachers inculcate moral values and ethics in the children. Consequently, there will be no sense of discrimination among men and women. However, on the other hand, some parents are of opinion that boys and girls should be taught separately because of immature mind they are unable to control on their feelings and become more than friends which not only distracts them from study but also students get astray from their right path. In conclusion, having separate schools for girls and boys can be beneficial in specific cases, to my mind joint education organization's have great advantage in their life especially on workplace.
A section of society opines that there should be one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for both

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
While I believe that scholars should
be taught
in same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Nevertheless
I shall discuss both notions in my upcoming paragraphs.

To commence with, there are several reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
should study together.
Firstly
, If they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
education in joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, students will not confront any obstacle in their
further
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
after completing study they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work together under one roof as
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
organization's recruit male and female employees and
thus
they
The word 'cooperative' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
can cooperative
easily
with each other due to workers already have
been studied
together in early life. Australia is a case in point where both genders have been pursuing education in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, which means that knowledge seekers have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
understanding on work place.
Further
more, by studying in joint institutions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
respect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
teachers inculcate moral values and ethics in the children.
Consequently
, there will be no sense of discrimination among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women.
However
,
on the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents are of opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
should
be taught
separately
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of immature mind they are unable to control on their feelings and become more than friends which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
distracts them from study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
astray from their right path.
In conclusion
, having separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
can be beneficial in specific cases, to my mind joint education organization's have great advantage in their life
especially
on workplace.
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IELTS academic Some people think that girls and boys should be attending in same school. and give your opinion.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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