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the changes in the excess deaths in the UK during the pandemic between 2020 to 2021

the changes in the excess deaths in the UK during the pandemic between 2020 to 2021 O6RmM
The line graph shows the changes in the excess deaths in the UK during the pandemic between 2020 to 2021. It can clearly be seen that during the early part of each year the number of overall deaths and excess deaths looked similar, but they hit the difference with the excess deaths number. Before the start, note that the red line stands for 2020-201 and the blue line stands for 2015-2019. To begin, the number of overall deaths between red line and blue line showed similar patterns, with both gradually increasing from week 1 to week 5 of April(2020). However, the number of excess deaths from week 1 to week 5 of April remained significantly lower than that of the other line over this time frame. In week 1, the number started rising at around 1, 011, while those numbers were about 10, 000 higher. With the exception of a high peak in week 2, the number of excess deaths kept increasing until it reached a peak in the final week of just over 11, 854. Total deaths also increased at a similar rate, peaking at 22, 351. The number that was the least of excess deaths was in the 2nd week of September. This began at slightly under 100 in week 1 of August, and, in contrast to the other two weeks, fell over the next two weeks to reach a low of approximately 1, 443. It then increased sharply over the following 4 months to peak at about 5, 576, which was well below that of excess deaths.
The
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line
graph
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shows
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the
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excess
deaths in the UK during the pandemic
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2020 and 2021".
between 2020 to 2021
. It can
clearly
be
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seen
that during the early part of each year the
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number
of
overall
deaths and
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excess
deaths looked similar,
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but
they hit the difference with the
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excess
deaths number.

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Before
the
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start
, note that the red
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line
stands for 2020-201 and the blue
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line
stands for 2015-2019. To
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begin
, the
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number
of
overall
deaths between red
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line
and blue
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line
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showed
similar patterns, with both
gradually
increasing from
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week
1 to
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week
5 of April(2020).

However
, the
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number
of
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excess
deaths from
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week
1 to
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week
5 of April remained
significantly
lower than that of the other
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line
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over
this time frame. In
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week
1, the
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number
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started
rising at around 1, 011, while those
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numbers
were about 10, 000 higher.
Consider using "except" or "except for"
With the exception of
a high peak in
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week
2, the
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number
of
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excess
deaths
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kept
increasing until it reached a peak in the final
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week
of
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just
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over
11, 854. Total deaths
also
increased at a similar rate, peaking at 22, 351.

The
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number
that was the least of
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excess
deaths was in the 2nd
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week
of September. This began at
slightly
under 100 in
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week
1 of August, and,
in contrast
to the other two
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weeks
, fell
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over
the
next
two
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weeks
to reach a low of approximately 1, 443. It then increased
sharply
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over
the following 4 months to peak at about 5, 576, which was well below that of
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excess
deaths.
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IELTS academic the changes in the excess deaths in the UK during the pandemic between 2020 to 2021

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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