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Some people think game and sports are important for our society and some people think sports and games are free time activities

Some people think game and sports are important for our society and some people think sports and games are free time activities 9aamr
Many people believe game and sports are very important part of our society when other side some people think games and sports are free time activities. I personally believe games and sports are important role of our life. Nowadays many people believe sport is not just a game we can make our future in this field. We can make our future in many types of games like cricket, chess, table tennis, football, walyball, and etc. If you are good in any game then you have opportunities to play for our country. Many people already made their future in games and sports field. Currently many people make their future in E-sports gaming field. Secondly, we have many games and sports which are helpfull for our mentally and physically. Chess is most helpfull for our mentally physic. And chess make our brain more sharper and more powerfull. On the other side, many people believe games and sports are just for free time. Because they have less time for family and spend most of time for their jobs. Some people believe many E-sports are harmful for mental and physical health. Using most E-games it can directly effect on our eyes. E-games make our eye week. Peoples play games and sports for mindfresh. Sports and games are make our life healthy. that is why I personally believe sports and games are important for our daily life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
game and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of our society when other side
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
activities. I
personally
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believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role of our life. Nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a game we can
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make
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
in this field. We can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
our
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future
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
like cricket, chess, table tennis, football,
Possible spelling mistake found.
walyball
,
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. If you are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in any game then you have opportunities to play for our country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
already made their
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future
in
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games
and
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sports
field.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Currently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
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future
in E-sports gaming field.
Secondly
, we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
which are
Possible spelling mistake found.
helpfull
for our mentally and
physically
. Chess is most
Possible spelling mistake found.
helpfull
for our mentally physic. And chess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
our brain
Use only "sharper" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more sharper
and more
Possible spelling mistake found.
powerfull
. On the other side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they have less
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time
for family and spend most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their jobs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
E-sports are harmful for mental and physical health. Using most E-games it can
directly
effect on our eyes. E-games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
our eye week.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Peoples
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
mindfresh
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
our life healthy.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
is why I
personally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for our daily life.
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IELTS academic Some people think game and sports are important for our society and some people think sports and games are free time activities

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
232 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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