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Some people say that sport is very important for a nation’s development, while others believe that sport is no more than a leisure time activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that sport is very important for a nation’s development, while others believe that sport is no more than a leisure time activity. KVGxw
While sport is being seen as a contribution to a country's growth to some, others believe that physical activities are only time-killing hobbies. The aim of this essay is to discuss both views, followed by my opinion. On the one hand, sport is being praised highly as a nation’s face. Some countries are being remembered by the face of an athlete who competed in their specialised sport. On a global scale, sports competitions and championships also earn a lot of income for the host country when arranged one. For instance, Olympics invited tourists from all around the globe to Brazil in 2017, causing a tourism development for the country. On the other hand, some people see sport as a leisure activity. Sport, just like music, painting, and dancing, is purposely aimed to help people relax in their free time in order to keep their mentality healthy. If sport is considered as a competition, it is only causing negative results for the participants by stressing them out unnecessarily in order to win. With that being said, some agree to keep sport as free time activities. After carefully analysing both points, I definitely see sport as a nation’s development which not only is a healthy hobby, but also one of the country’s powerful foundations. Thus, the government should encourage its citizens to take sports as seriously as other fields.
While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a contribution to a country's growth to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, others believe that physical activities are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
time-killing hobbies. The aim of this essay is to discuss both views, followed by my opinion.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is
being praised
highly
as a nation’s face.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
countries are
being remembered
by the face of an athlete who competed in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialised' is British English.
specialised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. On a global scale,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
competitions and championships
also
earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
income for the host country when arranged one.
For instance
, Olympics invited tourists from all around the globe to Brazil in 2017, causing a tourism development for the country.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
as a leisure activity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sport
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like music, painting, and dancing, is
purposely
aimed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
relax in their free time in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their mentality healthy. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is considered
as a competition, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
causing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
results for the participants by stressing them out
unnecessarily
in order to win. With that
being said
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
as free time activities.

After
carefully
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
both points, I definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
as a nation’s development which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is a healthy hobby,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
one of the country’s powerful foundations.
Thus
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should encourage its citizens to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
as
seriously
as other fields.
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IELTS academic Some people say that sport is very important for a nation’s development, while others believe that sport is no more than a leisure time activity.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
227 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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