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school expenditure in three different decades

school expenditure in three different decades pKr1d
The given pie charts, illustrate the total spending of a school in UK in three different decades, 1981, 1991, and 2001. Over all view, teacher's salary contributes in the most of the expenditure on a school, among the three decades. Money paid on insurance, increased gradually from 2 percent to reach 8 percent in 1981, and 2001 respectively. However other salary workers decreased from 28, to 22, and finally 15 in 1981, 1991, and 2001 sequentially. On the other hand, resources expenditure, and teacher's salaries increased between 1981, and 1991, from 15 to 20 for resources, and 40 to 50 for teacher's salaries in turn, followed by a decrease to reach 9percent, and 45 percent in 2001. On the inverse trend, money spent on equipment witnessed a decrease from 15 to 9 percent in 1981, and 1991 in turn, followed by an increase to reach a peak of 23 percent in 2001.
The
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given
pie charts, illustrate the total spending of a school in UK in three
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different
decades, 1981, 1991, and 2001. Over all view, teacher's
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salary
contributes in the most of the expenditure on a school, among the three decades. Money paid on insurance, increased
gradually
from 2
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percent
to reach 8
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percent
in 1981, and 2001
respectively
.
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However
other
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salary
workers decreased from 28, to 22, and
finally
15 in 1981, 1991, and 2001
sequentially
.
On the other hand
, resources expenditure, and teacher's
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salaries
increased between 1981, and 1991, from 15 to 20 for resources, and 40 to 50 for teacher's
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salaries
in turn, followed by a decrease to reach
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9percent
, and 45
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percent
in 2001. On the inverse trend, money spent on equipment witnessed a decrease from 15 to 9
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percent
in 1981, and 1991 in turn, followed by an increase to reach a peak of 23
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 2001.

IELTS academic school expenditure in three different decades

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
152 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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