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number of tourists visiting Dover city and Troy city by season

number of tourists visiting Dover city and Troy city by season lXqbo
The bar chart illustrates how many tourists spent their time in two different cities by season. Generally speaking, the total number of tourists, who visit these cities annually is almost the same. Also, we have The most visitors in Dover city in winter, on the other hand, most of the people visit Troy city in summer. In winter, Troy city has 5000 visitors which is significantly lower than Dover city with 25000 visitors. As can be seen in the next season, there is a huge drop in the number of tourists visiting Dover city from 25000 to 5000 tourists, But Troy City almost remains in 5000 tourists. In the next two seasons, we can see a considerable rise in the number of people who spend time in Both cities, especially in Troy city with nearly 22000 people in summer which is significantly higher than Dover city with 10000 visitors, and also Troy city has 20000 tourists in fall while Dover city has 15000 visitors.
The bar chart illustrates how
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many
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tourists
spent their time in two
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different
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cities
by season.

Generally
speaking, the total number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
, who visit these
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cities
annually
is almost the same.
Also
, we have The most
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visitors
in Dover city in winter,
on the other hand
, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visit Troy city in summer.

In winter, Troy city has 5000
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visitors
which is
significantly
lower than Dover city with 25000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
. As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the
next
season, there is a huge drop in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
visiting Dover city from 25000 to 5000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
Troy City almost remains in 5000 tourists.

In the
next
two seasons, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a considerable rise in the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who spend time in Both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
especially
in Troy city with
nearly
22000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in summer which is
significantly
higher than Dover city with 10000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
, and
also
Troy city has 20000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
in fall while Dover city has 15000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
.
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IELTS academic number of tourists visiting Dover city and Troy city by season

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
164 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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