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hours spend on housework in the UK

hours spend on housework in the UK 86GEw
The bar chart details hours of housework completed in the UK from 1985 to 2005 by fully employed males and females with various states of employment. Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that time spent on housework rose for all groups with the exception of unemployed women, which was stable overall. However, the latter category undertook by far the most housework, while men with full-time jobs did comparatively little. Unemployed women led throughout the period in terms of hours, at a peak of 7 hours in 1985 and 2005 and a slight dip to 6. 5 hours in between. In contrast, men with full-time work were unchanged at just 1 hour in 1985 and 1995, though there was a slight rise to 1. 5 hours in 2005. Women with part-time employment were slightly lower than their unemployed counterparts throughout the period, beginning at 5. 3 hours in 1985, before declining to 5 hours over the next 5 years, and then finishing the period with a surge to 6 hours. The figures for women with full-time employment resembled those of men, though they were marginally higher at 2, 1. 5, and 2. 8 hours in 1985, 1995, and 2005, respectively.
The bar chart
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details
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hours
of housework completed in the UK from 1985 to 2005 by
fully
employed males and females with various states of employment. Looking from an
overall
perspective, it is
readily
apparent that time spent on housework rose for all groups
Consider using "except" or "except for"
with the exception of
unemployed
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women
, which was stable
overall
.
However
, the latter category undertook by far the most housework, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
with full-time jobs did
comparatively
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little
.

Unemployed
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women
led throughout the period in terms of
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hours
, at a peak of 7
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hours
in 1985 and 2005 and a slight dip to 6. 5
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hours
in between.
In contrast
,
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men
with full-time work
were unchanged
at
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just
1
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hour
in 1985 and 1995, though there was a slight rise to 1. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in 2005.
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Women
with part-time employment were
slightly
lower than their unemployed counterparts throughout the period, beginning at 5. 3
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hours
in 1985,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
declining to 5
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hours
over the
next
5 years, and then finishing the period with a surge to 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. The figures for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
with full-time employment resembled those of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
, though they were
marginally
higher at 2, 1. 5, and 2. 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in 1985, 1995, and 2005,
respectively
.
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IELTS academic hours spend on housework in the UK

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
202 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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