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Sales of coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004

Sales of coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 KlODN
This report derives from two tables which illustrate sale numbers of coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in UK, Switzerland, Denmark, Belgium and Sweden. Generally speaking, in 1999, Switzerland was the highest coffee consumer between five countries. On the other hand, Sweden didn't prefer coffee as much as other four nations. In 2004, UK took the lead and became the most coffee consumer. While, Sweden still didn't prefer coffee like other countries. As for Bananas sale numbers, in both 1999 and 2004, Switzerland was the main consumer of bananas. Notably, In 1999 and 2004, sale numbers of coffee skyrocketed in the United Kingdom and reached 20 millions of euros earning at the end of 2004. In the Switzerland, income of coffee sales doubled and reached six millions of euros. In the both Sweden and Denmark, coffee sales numbers revenue increased by 0. 2 million and reached 1 and 2 millions of euros respectively. In 1999 Switzerland was the biggest bananas consumer between this five countries. Furthermore, Switzerland continued to this lead and nearly tripled its bananas earning at the end of 2004. In 1999 and 2004, both Sweden and Denmark, declined their revenue from bananas sales. However, Belgium and UK skyrocketed their income from bananas sales.
This report derives from two tables which illustrate
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sale
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numbers
of
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coffee
and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in UK, Switzerland, Denmark, Belgium and Sweden.

Generally
speaking, in 1999, Switzerland was the highest
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coffee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
between five countries.
On the other hand
, Sweden didn't prefer
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coffee
as much as other four nations. In 2004, UK took the lead and became the most
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coffee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, Sweden
still
didn't prefer
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coffee
like other countries. As for Bananas
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sale
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numbers
, in both 1999 and 2004, Switzerland was the main
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consumer
of bananas.

Notably
, In 1999 and 2004,
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sale
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numbers
of
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coffee
skyrocketed in the United Kingdom and reached 20
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millions
of euros earning at the
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end
of 2004. In the Switzerland, income of
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coffee
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sales
doubled and reached six
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millions
of euros. In the both Sweden and Denmark,
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coffee
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sales
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numbers
revenue increased by 0. 2
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million
and reached 1 and 2
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millions
of euros
respectively
.

In 1999 Switzerland was the biggest bananas
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consumer
between this five countries.
Furthermore
, Switzerland continued to this lead and
nearly
tripled its bananas earning at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2004. In 1999 and 2004, both Sweden and Denmark, declined their revenue from bananas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
.
However
, Belgium and UK skyrocketed their income from bananas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
.
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IELTS academic Sales of coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
207 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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