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renewable energy of the total supply

renewable energy of the total supply 53x3e
The following bar chart demonstrates the ratio of sustainable energy of total supply in four different countries in 2000, 2004, and 2007. Overall, we can notice that Norway had dominated the other 3 countries in all three years. Iceland was the second highest country that supplies renewable energy whereas Australia supplied the least ratio of the renewable resource. Looking into detail, there was a significant rise in the supply of sustainable resources in Norway in three different years accounted 60%, 65%, and nearly 80% respectively. However, the total supply of renewable energy fluctuated from 50% to 55% during 2000 and 2007. where the renewable source peaked in 2004 and touched almost 60%. On the other hand, there was a consistent rise in the ratio of supply renewable energy in Germany from 11% in 2000, 14% in 2004, and 17% in 2007. On the contrary, Australia experienced an almost static proportion in the supply of sustainable energy in 2000 and 2007 contributing 9% whereas in the year of 2004 it supplies 10% of renewable energy.
The following bar chart demonstrates the ratio of sustainable
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energy
of total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supply
in four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries in 2000, 2004, and 2007.

Overall
, we can notice that Norway had dominated the other 3 countries in all three years. Iceland was the second highest country that supplies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
whereas Australia supplied the least ratio of the
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renewable
resource.

Looking into detail, there was a significant rise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supply
of sustainable resources in Norway in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
years accounted 60%, 65%, and
nearly
80%
respectively
.
However
, the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supply
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
fluctuated from 50% to 55% during 2000 and 2007.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
where
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
source peaked in 2004 and touched almost 60%.

On the other hand
, there was a consistent rise in the ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
in Germany from 11% in 2000, 14% in 2004, and 17% in 2007.
On the contrary
, Australia experienced an almost static proportion in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supply
of sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
in 2000 and 2007 contributing 9% whereas in the year of 2004 it supplies 10% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
.
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IELTS academic renewable energy of the total supply

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
174 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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