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reason of studying is career or intrest

reason of studying is career or intrest 6N0nB
The first chart is illustrating the reason od studying is for career or interest among the different age groups. The second chart is comparing the amount of help from the students' employers between age groups. As it is shown in the first diagram, while people are getting older, individual interest is their main reason for studying. Otherwise, improving in career is the main purpose for younger people's study. The proportion of over 49-year-olds whose interest is their reason of study is almost three times more than over 49-year-olds who studying for their careers. Meanwhile, for the under 26-year-olds it is completely opposite. The employers are supporting under 26-year-olds more than other groups maybe because they believe if their employees study more in early age, they would improve their business more. Also, people who are more than 40-year-olds are receiving more support than 30-39 group maybe because the employers are paying more respect and attention to their older employees
The
first
chart is illustrating the reason
od
studying is for career or interest among the
different
age groups. The second chart is comparing the amount of
help
from the students' employers between age groups.

As it
is shown
in the
first
diagram, while
people
are getting older, individual interest is their main reason for studying.
Otherwise
, improving in career is the main purpose for younger
people
's study. The proportion of over 49-year-olds whose interest is their reason of study is almost three times more than over 49-year-olds who studying for their careers. Meanwhile, for the under 26-year-olds it is completely opposite.

The employers are supporting under 26-year-olds more than other groups maybe
because
they believe if their employees study more in early age, they would
improve
their business more.
Also
,
people
who are more than 40-year-olds are receiving more support than 30-39 group maybe
because
the employers are paying more respect and attention to their older employees
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IELTS academic reason of studying is career or intrest

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
157 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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