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proportion of carbohydrates, fat and protein in 3 different diets

proportion of carbohydrates, fat and protein in 3 different diets 955g3
The pie charts give information about the percentage of contents in three different diets such as an average diet, a healthy diet and a healthy diet for sport. The way the contents (carbohydrates, protein and fat) are divided up is not much different in these diets. In average diet, carbohydrates and protein take up the same proportion, accounting for 40% each while fat constitutes only 20%. Furthermore, carbohydrates make up by far the largest percentage in healthy diet for sport with 60%. This is 10% higher than the proportion of carbohydrates in a normal healthy diet and 20% higher than that of average diet. However, sportspeople require relatively lower amount of protein (25%) and fat (15%) than those who eat an average diet and a healthy diet. Regarding fat, it takes up the least proportion amounting to nearly one fifth of all 3 diets. In conclusion, it is clear that the percentages of carbohydrates are highest in all 3 diets while the proportions of fat are lowest.
The pie charts give information about the percentage of contents in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
diets such as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
diet, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet for sport. The way the contents
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(carbohydrates
, protein and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat)
are divided
up is not much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in these diets.

In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
diet,
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carbohydrates
and protein take up the same
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proportion
, accounting for 40% each while
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fat
constitutes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
20%.
Furthermore
,
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carbohydrates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up by far the largest percentage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet for sport with 60%. This is 10% higher than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
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carbohydrates
in a normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet and 20% higher than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
diet.
However
, sportspeople require
relatively
lower amount of protein (25%) and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
(15%) than those who eat an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
diet and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet. Regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
, it takes up the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
amounting to
nearly
one fifth of all 3 diets.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the percentages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbohydrates
are highest in all 3 diets while the proportions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
are lowest.

IELTS academic proportion of carbohydrates, fat and protein in 3 different diets

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
167 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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