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Production of vegetable in five countries

Production of vegetable in five countries 70ed3
The given table shows how three types of vegetables made in different five countries in 2012. Units of table meausured in millions of tonnes. Overall, it is clearly that, of the other countries the amount of products of China dominated in manufacturing vegetables, by contrast, the amount of all vegetables had shown making the fewest vegetables in Ireland over the given period. Focusing firstly on similiar amount, the weight of cabbage of spain had been differing with 10 times from Ireland, the same stuation, in potatoes observed from 3 mt to 30 mt in Brazil and Russia respectively in 2012. At the same time, the weight of potatoes was more 10 times than Russia in Ireland while, the goods of vegetables of spain were the last place by 2 mt. In brazil, the cabbage kind of vegetable had not produced. As for the millions of tonnes onions, although onions were grown few (4 mt) in Ireland, they were not grown at all in Spain. In other countries, the amount of onions was high at 2602 mt, 2039 mt and 1417mt in China, Bussia and Brazil respectively. In temrs of total amount of three types of vegetables were the most in China.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
table
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how three types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
made in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
five countries in 2012. Units of table
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meausured
in millions of tonnes.

Overall
, it is
clearly
that, of the other countries the
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amount
of products of China dominated in manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
, by contrast, the
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amount
of all
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vegetables
had shown making the fewest
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vegetables
in Ireland over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.

Focusing
firstly
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
similiar
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amount
, the weight of cabbage of
Possible spelling mistake found.
spain
had been differing with 10 times from Ireland, the same
Possible spelling mistake found.
stuation
, in potatoes observed from 3 mt to 30 mt in Brazil and Russia
respectively
in 2012. At the same time, the weight of potatoes was more 10 times than Russia in Ireland while, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
of
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vegetables
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
spain
were the last place by 2 mt. In
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brazil
, the cabbage kind of
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vegetable
had not produced.

As for the millions of tonnes onions, although onions
were grown
few (4 mt) in Ireland, they were not grown at all in Spain. In other countries, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of onions was high at 2602 mt, 2039 mt and 1417mt in China,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bussia
and Brazil
respectively
. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
temrs
of total
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amount
of three types of
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vegetables
were the most in China.
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IELTS academic Production of vegetable in five countries

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
201 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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