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price of airline tickets in Sydney and Melbourne 2013

price of airline tickets in Sydney and Melbourne 2013 yL6NE
The above pie chart gives us detailed information about the fluctuation in the price of airline tickets from Sydney to Melbourne and from Melborune to Sydney in the span of two weeks in 2013. It can be noticed in Week 1 that Monday being the first day of the week, the price from Sydney to Melbourne is the highest compared to the rest of the week, standing in about 80$. Similarly Friday being teh start of the weekend is the second highest with a range of 70$-80$. Prices have a significant fall during the middle of the week 1, especially Tuesday. However, there is a drastic change in the whole structure when it comes to Week 2. The price on Monday is comparatively lower than the price on Friday and Saturday, a differenec of about 20-20$. We can see that the common aspect in both weeks is that Tuesday has the lowest price. When it comes to price tickets from Melboourne to Sydney, Week 1 shows the highest price for Friday with about 80$, similar to Monday in week 1 for Sydney to Melbourne. Interestingly enough, the prices for Week 2 share a striking resemblance. To summarise, it is pretty obvious from the charts that the beginning and the end of the week are slightly expensive and could burn a hole in your pockets, while the middle of the week seems convenient and easy on the pockets.
The above pie chart gives us detailed information about the fluctuation in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of airline tickets from Sydney to Melbourne and from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Melborune
to Sydney in the span of two
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weeks
in 2013.

It can
be noticed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Week
1 that Monday being the
first
day of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
from Sydney to Melbourne is the highest compared to the rest of the
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week
, standing in about
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$80".
80$
.
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Similarly
Friday being
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teh
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of the weekend is the second highest with a range of
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$70".
70$
-
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$80".
80$
.
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Prices
have a significant fall during the middle of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
1,
especially
Tuesday.
However
, there is a drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the whole structure when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Week
2. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
on Monday is
comparatively
lower than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
on Friday and Saturday, a
Possible spelling mistake found.
differenec
of about 20-
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$20".
20$
. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the common aspect in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weeks
is that Tuesday has the lowest price.

When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
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price
tickets from
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Melboourne
to Sydney,
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Week
1
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
for Friday with about
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$80".
80$
, similar to Monday in
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week
1 for Sydney to Melbourne.
Interestingly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
for
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Week
2 share a striking resemblance.

To
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summarise
, it is pretty obvious from the charts that the beginning and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
are
slightly
expensive and could burn a hole in your pockets, while the middle of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
seems convenient and easy on the pockets.
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IELTS academic price of airline tickets in Sydney and Melbourne 2013

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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