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the number of population size, birth rate and death rate in England between 1700 and 2000.

the number of population size, birth rate and death rate in England between 1700 and 2000. N3EWq
The line graph gives information about the number of population size, birth rate and death rate in England between 1700 and 2000. Overall, As it can be seen that the amount of population size increased considerably whereas the amount of death rate and birth rate fluctuated moderately in given period. With regard to population size rose slightly by 8 million during 50 years but it declined minimally even though it rose from 6 million to 10 million between 1800 and 1850, more interestingly it grew steeply by 35 million during 100 years and it did mot stop at rising its the biggest amount was 50 million in final year. In terms of death rate and birth rate, their figures were moderate and both amounts differentiated by 10 thousand till 1830. Birth rate not changed during 50 years but dipped moderately from 32 thousand to 22 thousand, in 1950 it rose rapidly and its figure was 34 thousand in final year. Moreover death rate oscillated between 1850 and 1900 though it declined slightly by 60 thousand during 50 years and it consisted of 20 thousand in final year
The line graph gives information about the number of population size,
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birth
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rate
and death
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rate
in England between 1700 and 2000.

Overall
, As it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
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amount
of population size increased
considerably
whereas the
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amount
of death
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rate
and
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birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
fluctuated
moderately
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.

With regard to population size rose
slightly
by 8
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million
during 50 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it declined
minimally
even though
it rose from 6
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million
to 10
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million
between 1800 and 1850, more
interestingly
it grew
steeply
by 35
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million
during 100 years and it did mot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
at rising
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
the biggest
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amount
was 50
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million
in final year.

In terms of death
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rate
and
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birth
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rate
, their figures were moderate and both
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amounts
differentiated by 10 thousand till 1830.
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Birth
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rate
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
during 50 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
dipped
moderately
from 32 thousand to 22 thousand, in 1950 it rose
rapidly
and its figure was 34 thousand in final
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year
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
oscillated between 1850 and 1900 though it declined
slightly
by 60 thousand during 50 years and it consisted of 20 thousand in final
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
year
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IELTS academic the number of population size, birth rate and death rate in England between 1700 and 2000.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
186 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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