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The given pie chart demonstrates the information of of how many usage of internet according to their ages in Jamestown the year of 2018

The given pie chart demonstrates the information of of how many usage of internet according to their ages in Jamestown the year of 2018 R0e2Y
Overall, the provided reported five different aged segments according to the usage of digital networking. Youngest population was the highest segment who frequently used internet and aging population was the Least in case of social media in Jamestown the year of 2018. By looking on the significant feature of chart, youngest community was the highest user of internet and the accounting percentage was 40% in 2018. Additionally, 26 to 35 year old residents came in second largest portion in usage of digital networking was approximately 35%. Slightly lower than youngest contribution. To sum up these categories covered up almost quarter of Jamestown internet users. To stark contrast, the proportion of aging population was the lowest for accounting only 2%. Public of 35 to 45 and between 46 to 55 years old was also considerable the little trend of using internet for only 8% and 15% respectively. By comparing those segments was collectively made up around 25% user of social media in Jamestown the year of 2018.
Overall
, the provided reported five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aged segments according to the usage of digital networking.
A determiner is probably missing here: "the Youngest".
Youngest
population was the highest segment who
frequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
internet and aging population was the Least in case of social media in Jamestown the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of 2018. By looking on the significant feature of chart,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the youngest".
youngest
community was the highest user of internet and the accounting percentage was 40% in 2018.
Additionally
, 26 to 35
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
residents came in second largest portion in usage of digital networking was approximately 35%.
Slightly
lower than
A determiner is probably missing here: "the youngest".
youngest
contribution. To sum up these categories covered up almost quarter of Jamestown internet users. To stark contrast, the proportion of aging population was the lowest for accounting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2%. Public of 35 to 45 and
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 46 and 55".
between 46 to 55
years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
was
also
considerable the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
trend of using internet for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
8% and 15%
respectively
. By comparing those segments was
collectively
made up around 25% user of social media in Jamestown the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of 2018.
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IELTS academic The given pie chart demonstrates the information of of how many usage of internet according to their ages in Jamestown the year of 2018

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
166 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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