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Explaining the expenditures in 2013 & 2010

Explaining the expenditures in 2013 & 2010 Dqn2E
The given pie charts illustrate the total amount of income and amount of spending on food and clothes from 2010 to 2013. Overall, it can be seen that total income was 29000 pounds and total amount of spending was 14000 pounds when the total saving was 15000 pounds in 2010. On the other hand, in 2013, total income was 2500 pounds and amount of spending was 15000 pounds where the amount of savings was 10000 pounds. Consequently, its saving lower than 2010. In the starting pie chart, the highest amount of percentage on spending was in meat and fish 25% and lowest was in dairy products 15%. Moreover, fruits consuming percentage was 20% and clothes was 22%. Besides, in the second pie chart, the highest spending percentage was in fruits and vegetables 35% which increased a vast amount compare to 2010. Additionally, dairy products consuming increased slightly 20%. However, in the analogous way, clothes as well as meats and fish consumption was decreased rapidly 12%&15%. Furthermore, others food and drinks spending was equal 18% in both of the year.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie charts illustrate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of income and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
on food and clothes from 2010 to 2013.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
income was
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
29000 pounds
and
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total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
was
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
14000 pounds
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
saving was
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
15000 pounds
in 2010.
On the other hand
, in 2013,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
income was
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
2500 pounds
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
was
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
15000 pounds
where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of savings was
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
10000 pounds
.
Consequently
, its saving lower than 2010. In the starting pie chart, the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of percentage on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
was in meat and fish 25% and lowest was in dairy products 15%.
Moreover
, fruits consuming percentage was 20% and clothes was 22%.
Besides
, in the second pie chart, the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
percentage was in fruits and vegetables 35% which increased a vast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
compare to 2010.
Additionally
, dairy products consuming increased
slightly
20%.
However
, in the analogous way, clothes
as well
as meats and fish consumption
was decreased
rapidly
12%&15%.
Furthermore
, others food and drinks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
was equal 18% in both of the year.
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IELTS academic Explaining the expenditures in 2013 & 2010

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
179 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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