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Present changes in a country's export in years 2015 and 2016

Present changes in a country's export in years 2015 and 2016 KlJq6
The chart shown above presents us with the value of some country’s export in many categories during the years 2015 and 2016. On the chart we can see that petroleum products increased in the year 2016 of three procent which is not as a big diffrence as engineered good which increased of over eight procent. However, gems and jewellery had a higher procentage in the earlier year, in 2016 it decreased of over five procent. On the other hand, argicultural products were stable, they increased of only point eighty-five procent which shows that the same number of people could afford going on vacation and use the potential of spending some quality time far from home. The biggest raise was noted in textilium products which increased of almost sixteen procent, that means that people were buying more clothes which is the cause of polluting the enviroment. Summing up, the chart shows that people in year 2016 invested more of their money in short-time investments such as clothes or vacation.
The chart shown above presents us with the value of
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some
country’s export in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
categories during the years 2015 and 2016.

On the chart we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that petroleum products
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increased
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2016 of three
Possible spelling mistake found.
procent
which is not as a
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big
Possible spelling mistake found.
diffrence
as engineered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
which
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increased
of over eight
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procent
.
However
, gems and
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
had a higher
Possible spelling mistake found.
procentage
in the earlier
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year
, in 2016 it decreased of over five
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procent
.

On the other hand
,
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argicultural
products were stable, they
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increased
of
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only
point eighty-five
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procent
which
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shows
that the same number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could afford
If 'afford' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to go".
going
on vacation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the potential of spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
quality time far from home.

The biggest raise
was noted
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
textilium
products which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
of almost sixteen
Possible spelling mistake found.
procent
, that means that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were buying more clothes which is the cause of polluting the
Possible spelling mistake found.
enviroment
.

Summing up, the chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2016 invested more of their money in short-time investments such as clothes or vacation.
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IELTS academic Present changes in a country's export in years 2015 and 2016

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
168 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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