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Population of three countries of people aged 65 and over.

Population of three countries of people aged 65 and over. 7rPNX
The line graph compares the percentage of people of age 65 and over in Japan, Sweden and USA between 1940 and 2020 and it also display prediction for 2040. In 1940, the USA had the highest population of age 65 and over about 9%. The second place was taken by Sweden which was around 7 %; while Japan came last with the proportion of 5 % only. Over the next forty years, the population of the USA increased gradually(15%). A similar rise was witnessed by Sweden, but the ratio of old people in Japan dropped by nearly 4%. In 2020, all the countries faced major differences. The population of Sweden continued to escalate; whereas the USA witnessed a gentle fall. On the other hand, for the first time after 1980, Japan's population started to grow up till 2030 which is 10%. By the end of 2040, it has been predicted that Japan will notice a dramatic rise and it will peak at approximately 27%. Likewise, Sweden and the USA will be standing at 25% and around 23% respectively. Overall, it has been noticed that in the early years the USA had most of the people of age group 65 and over but prediction states that Japan will surpass the other two countries by the year 2040.
The line graph compares the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of age 65 and
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over
in
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Japan
, Sweden and USA between 1940 and 2020 and it
also
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display
prediction for 2040.

In 1940, the USA had the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of age 65 and
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over
about 9%. The second place
was taken
by Sweden which was around 7 %; while
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Japan
came last with the proportion of 5 %
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only
.
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Over
the
next
forty years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of the USA increased
gradually
(15%). A similar rise
was witnessed
by Sweden,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the ratio of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
dropped by
nearly
4%.

In 2020, all the countries faced major differences. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of Sweden continued to escalate; whereas the USA witnessed a gentle fall.
On the other hand
, for the
first
time after 1980, Japan's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to grow up till 2030 which is 10%. By the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2040, it has
been predicted
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
will notice a dramatic rise and it will peak at approximately 27%.
Likewise
, Sweden and the USA will be standing at 25% and around 23%
respectively
.

Overall
, it has
been noticed
that in the early years the USA had most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of age group 65 and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
prediction states that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
will surpass the other two countries by the year 2040.
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IELTS academic Population of three countries of people aged 65 and over.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
216 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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