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This bar chart describes the information about the top ranked countries in terms of medals won at the Olympic games.

This bar chart describes the information about the top ranked countries in terms of medals won at the Olympic games. pLKRm
This bar chart describes the information about the top ranked countries in terms of medals won at the Olympic games. It is clear that the US has won the most gold medals and the most medals overall, nearly doubling the next ranked country. First of all, the US has achieved the most medal including the gold medals and appeared as the top ranked country. Next, second placed Soviet Union won the second place at the Olympics, and actually won on average by 1000 medals. In addition, the data shows that the other countries except USA and Soviet Union, won more or less 500 medals on average. Overall, the US has clearly procured the most medals including gold, silver and bronze among the other countries. And Soviet Union becomes the secound most successful country.
This bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the information about the top ranked
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countries
in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medals
won at the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Olympic games
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the US has won the most gold
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medals
and the most
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medals
overall
,
nearly
doubling the
next
ranked country.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the US has achieved the most
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medal
including the gold
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medals
and appeared as the top ranked
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country
.
Next
, second placed Soviet Union won the second place at the Olympics, and actually won on average by 1000
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medals
.
In addition
, the data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
A determiner is probably missing here: "except the USA".
except USA
and Soviet Union, won more or less 500
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medals
on average.

Overall
, the US has
clearly
procured the most
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medals
including gold, silver and bronze among the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. And Soviet Union becomes the
Possible spelling mistake found.
secound
most successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
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IELTS academic This bar chart describes the information about the top ranked countries in terms of medals won at the Olympic games.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
133 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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