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Line graph with annual salary for sports

Line graph with annual salary for sports DNYjo
The line graph compares the annual salary for basketball, baseball, and football between 1970 and 2000, a period of 30 years. Generally, the player’s salary for baseball and basketball roses regularly throughout the period. As can be seen, in the first half of the period, the amount of annual salary for all 3 kinds of sports follows quite the same trends, with only around 500, 000 dollars. From 1980 to 1990, the player’s income for basketball, baseball, and football have a considerable increase to 1, 000, 000 dollars; 550, 000 dollars and nearly 500, 000 dollars respectively. Clearly, at the same period of time, the wage for basketball players reaches the highest point, continue with the second rank of that for baseball. On the other hand, over the next 10 years, the annual salary for basketball and baseball enjoy the next growth, increase by over 2 fold. Surprisingly, the player’s income for football follows a downward trend, decreases by around 100, 000 dollars at the end of time. To sum up, while the payment for basketball and baseball go up habitually, football player’s salary still changes during the period.
The line graph compares the annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basketball
, baseball, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
between 1970 and 2000, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
of 30 years.
Generally
, the
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player’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
for baseball and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basketball
roses
regularly
throughout the period.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, in the
first
half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
, the amount of annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
for all 3 kinds of sports follows quite the same trends, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
around 500, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
. From 1980 to 1990, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player’s
income for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basketball
, baseball, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
have a considerable increase to 1, 000, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
; 550, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
and
nearly
500, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
respectively
.
Clearly
, at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
of time, the wage for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basketball
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
reaches the highest point, continue with the second rank of that for baseball.

On the other hand
, over the
next
10 years, the annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basketball
and baseball enjoy the
next
growth, increase by over 2
Possible agreement error. The noun 'fold' seems to be countable, so consider using: "folds".
fold
.
Surprisingly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player’s
income for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
follows a downward trend, decreases by around 100, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of time.

To sum up, while the payment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basketball
and baseball go up
habitually
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
.
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IELTS academic Line graph with annual salary for sports

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
189 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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