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bar chart comparison with another bar chart

bar chart comparison with another bar chart 8gE5B
The bar chart shows how many tickets were sold to sports events, theme parks and movies in 2009 and the table reveals ticket prices to various venues in the same year. Going to the cinema was both the most popular and the cheapest form of entertainment in 2009. Cinemas attracted more people than theme parks and sports combined. Whilst 1, 050, 000 people attended movies, only a third of that number visited theme parks, and a mere 150, 000 went to sports games. Movie tickets were far cheaper than other forms of entertainment. Attendance at a football game in 2009 cost around $73, with little reduction for families. Basketball and cricket games cost less, at $34 and $24 respectively for a single admission. However, a family ticket to cricket, at $80, showed considerable savings. Theme parks were only slightly less expensive than football matches at $70 a single, but there was a significant reduction in the price of a family concession with four people gaining entry for the price of three. Movie tickets at $15 for one, and $55 for four, were the cheapest. Overall, the cinema was the most affordable entertainment option.
The bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
were sold
to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "sport".
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
movies
in 2009 and the table reveals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
prices to various venues in the same year.

Going to the cinema was both the most popular and the cheapest form of entertainment in

2009.

Cinemas attracted more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and sports combined. Whilst 1, 050, 000

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
attended movies,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a third of that number visited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
, and a mere

150, 000 went to sports games.

Movie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
were far cheaper than other forms of entertainment. Attendance at
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
a


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
football
game in 2009 cost around $73, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
reduction for families. Basketball
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
and


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
cricket
games cost less, at $34 and $24
respectively
for a single admission.
However
, a

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
to cricket, at $80,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
considerable savings.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Theme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
were
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
only


slightly
less expensive than football matches at $70 a single,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there was a significant

reduction in the price of a family concession with four
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
gaining entry for the price

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
of
three. Movie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
at $15 for one, and $55 for four, were the cheapest.

Overall
, the cinema was the most affordable entertainment option.
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IELTS academic bar chart comparison with another bar chart

Academic
  American English
15 paragraphs
193 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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