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Plan for new shopping mall

Plan for new shopping mall 2ay0M
The two maps depict that the plan of shopping mall which will renovation. Overall, it is clear that the main focus of new proposal is extend the center space and give more space to the car parking area so that increase the number of shop in the mall. Currently, south side mall consists of cinemas, cafe with the children paly area and toilets facilities. To the east side of mall, there is the golf course and park while the south, there is car parking area and fitness center opposite of the entrance. According to the new proposal, supermarket, toilets and entrance will remain same as orignal site. The golf course and park will remove and the department store move there and give separate entrance. Between the toilets and department store will construct three fashion stores. Northern side, cinemas, noodles shop and play area will renovate and make shops like shoes, gift, cosmetic shop with the beauty salon. Information center will make instead of cafe. The fitness center will knock-down and the car parking make which will more the the double size.
The two maps depict that the plan of shopping mall which will renovation.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the main focus of new proposal is
Consider using a past participle here: "extended".
extend
the center space and give more space to the car parking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that increase the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
in the mall.

Currently
, south side mall consists of cinemas,
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
with the children
Possible spelling mistake found.
paly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and toilets facilities. To the east side of mall, there is the golf course and park while the south, there is car parking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and fitness center opposite of the entrance.

According to the new proposal, supermarket, toilets and entrance will remain same as
Possible spelling mistake found.
orignal
site. The golf course and park will remove and the department store
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
there and give separate entrance. Between the toilets and department store will construct three fashion stores. Northern side, cinemas, noodles
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
and play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
will renovate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
like shoes, gift, cosmetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
with the beauty salon. Information center will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
instead
of
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
. The fitness center will knock-down and the car parking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
which will more
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
double size.
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IELTS academic Plan for new shopping mall

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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