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digram showing process of sugar from sugarcane

digram showing process of sugar from sugarcane Oy5W3
Steps involved in making sugar is shown in the given diagram. Overall, preparation of sugar involves eight steps which starts with sugarcane harvest and ends up with delivery of sugar to supermarkets and restaurants. In the first step, sugarcane harvest takes place in tropical regions after that uses collected by crusher. Next, the juice is partially filtered to collector or sugar which is shipped to Germany for more processing. When this material reaches Germany, it passes through melting and filtering stage where purification as done completely. Sugar after melting takes form of sugar syrup which transforms into crystals in the fifth stage. Subsequently, these crystals are dried at sixth stage by using fans. After completion of these steps sugar is packed and deliver to supermarkets and restaurants.
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Steps
involved in making
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sugar
is shown
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
diagram.

Overall
, preparation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
involves eight
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steps
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
with sugarcane harvest and ends up with delivery of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
to supermarkets and restaurants. In the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
, sugarcane harvest takes place in tropical regions after that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
collected by crusher.
Next
, the juice is
partially
filtered to collector or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
which
is shipped
to Germany for more processing. When this material reaches Germany, it passes through melting and filtering stage where purification as done completely.

Sugar after melting takes form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
syrup which transforms into crystals in the fifth stage.
Subsequently
, these crystals
are dried
at sixth stage by using fans. After completion of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
is packed
and deliver to supermarkets and restaurants.
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IELTS academic digram showing process of sugar from sugarcane

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
127 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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