Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Plan A below shows a health centre in 2005. Plan B shows the same place in the present day. v.3

Plan A below shows a health centre in 2005. Plan B shows the same place in the present day. v. 3
The two illustrations show the previous and the latest plans for a health centre in 2005 and in the present day. In 2005, the main entrance was located in front of the health centre with 12 car parking spaces outside. From the main entrance, there were a number of seats where clients could sit and wait for consultation. Moreover, there were three large consulting rooms and an office where clients could be accommodated and a reception desk in the far corner from the entrance. From there, there was a physiotherapy room, located behind the reception desk where clients undergo musculoskeletal rehabilitation. In the present day plan, the health centre is revised in this way. Both the entrance and reception desk are transferred in the left corner of the health centre and a playing area created opposite to the reception desk. They added another room for consulting purposes but not as large as the previous plan before. Likewise, spaces are expanded for car parking up to 30 slots. While the office and the physiotherapy room are in their original structure, a minor operating room is added beside the latter. To sum up, the present day plan is constructed with more rooms added although smaller in size compared in the past.
The two illustrations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the previous and the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plans
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
in 2005 and in the present day.

In 2005, the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrance
was located
in front of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
with 12 car parking spaces outside. From the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrance
, there were a number of seats where clients could sit and wait for consultation.
Moreover
, there were three large consulting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rooms
and an office where clients could
be accommodated
and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reception
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desk
in the far corner from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrance
. From there, there was a physiotherapy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
, located behind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reception
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desk
where clients undergo musculoskeletal rehabilitation.

In the present day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
is revised
in this way. Both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrance
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reception
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desk
are transferred
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
corner of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
and a playing area created opposite to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reception
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desk
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
for consulting purposes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not as large as the previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Likewise
, spaces
are expanded
for car parking up to 30

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
slots
. While the office and the physiotherapy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
are in their original structure, a minor operating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
beside the latter. To sum up, the present day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
is constructed
with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rooms
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
although
A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
smaller in size
compared in the past.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS academic Plan A below shows a health centre in 2005. Plan B shows the same place in the present day. v. 3

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
209 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts